Funny Movie Moment Dude Thats How You Get Pink Eye

The Funniest Movie Quotes
(in the terminal 50 years -- in chronological order)

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room."
Dr. Strangelove: Or, How I Learned to Terminate Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I remember when I was a little male child, I-I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille, and I used to rub the dirty parts."
Bananas (1971)
Play clip (extract):

- "Hey Ralph! How much is a copy of Orgasm?"
- "Uh, merely put 'em in a bag, will ya?"
- "What?"
- "Orgasm. This man wants to buy a re-create. How much is it?"
- "I'm doing a sociological study on perversion - up to advanced child molesting."
Bananas (1971)
Play clip (extract):

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!"
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Taggart."
- "Yes, sir."
- "I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes."
- "What exercise you lot desire me to do, sir?"
- "I want y'all to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: 'I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, one-half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-league-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, railroad train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists! Ha, ha, ha, ha!"
- "Could yous repeat that, sir?"
Blazing Saddles (1974)
Play prune (excerpt):

- "What knockers!" (referring to behemothic wrought-iron door knockers)
- "Oh, thanks, Physician."
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Play prune (excerpt):

- "If yous're bluish, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you get where fashion sits?"
- "Puttin' on the Ritz."
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "I don't want to talk to yous no more, y'all dizzy creature food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your female parent was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
- "Is there someone else up there we could talk to?"
- "No, now go away, or I shall taunt y'all a 2d time."
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Play clips (extract):

- "What makes yous think she's a witch?"
- "Well, she turned me into a newt!"
- "A newt?"
- (meekly) "I got better."
- "Burn her anyway!"
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I dearest."
Annie Hall (1977)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I went to New York University, and, uhm, I was thrown out of NYU my freshman twelvemonth for cheating on my metaphysics final. Yous know, I looked within the soul of the male child sitting next to me."
Annie Hall (1977)
Play clip (excerpt):

"What? Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Animal House (1978)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no mode to get through life, son."
Animal House (1978)
Play clip (excerpt):

"...My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was built-in a poor blackness child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi..."
The Jerk (1979)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I know we've simply known each other for four weeks and three days, but to me, information technology seems similar nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a calendar week and the second 24-hour interval seemed similar 5 days. And the 3rd 24-hour interval seemed like a calendar week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. But the fifth mean solar day, you went to run across your female parent and that seemed simply similar a day, but then you came dorsum and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like ii days, then in the evening information technology seemed like ii days spilling over into the side by side day and that started seeming like 4 days, and then at the cease of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed similar a total of five days. And the sixth solar day seemed similar a calendar week and a half. I take it written down, merely I-I can testify it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. Anyway, I've decided that tomorrow when the time is right, I'm gonna inquire you to marry me. If that's okay with you, simply don't say anything. You've made me very happy."
The Jerk (1979)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Joey, exercise yous like movies about gladiators?"
Airplane! (1980)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Surely y'all can't be serious."
- "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
Airplane! (1980)
Play clip (extract):

"There's no reason to get alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
Airplane! (1980)
Play prune (excerpt):

"They're not gonna catch united states. Nosotros're on a mission from God."
The Dejection Brothers (1980)
Play clip (extract):

"Thanks very little."
Caddyshack (1980)
Play clip (excerpt):

"The royal penis is clean, your Highness!"
Coming to America (1980)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Simply where in New York can one find a adult female with grace, elegance, taste and culture? A woman suitable for a rex."
- "Queens!"
Coming to America (1980)
Play prune (extract):

"Thank y'all for a memorable afternoon. Usually 1 must get to a bowling aisle to meet a woman of your stature."
Arthur (1981)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "A real adult female could stop you from drinking."
- "It'd take to be a real BIG adult female."
Arthur (1981)
Play prune (excerpt):

"We Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The only thing nosotros don't accept a god for is premature ejaculation, but I hear that that'southward coming quickly."
History of the World, Part ane (1981)
Play clip (extract):

- "Gentlemen, I'd like y'all to see your helm, Captain Oveur."
- "Gentlemen, welcome aboard."
- "Captain, your navigator, Mr. Unger, and your showtime officeholder, Mr. Dunn."
- "Unger."
- "Oveur."
- "Oveur."
- "Dunn. Gentlemen, permit's go to work."
- "Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Forcefulness?"
- "Not straight. Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn."
- "Yes."
- "And then, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger."
- "Yes."
- "That's right. Dunn was over Unger and I was over Dunn."
- "So, you see, both Dunn and I were nether Oveur, even though I was nether Dunn."
- "Dunn was over Unger, and I was over Dunn."
Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I think you're all f--ked in the head. We're ten hours from the f--kin' fun park and you wanna bail out. Well, I'll tell ya something. This is no longer a holiday. It'south a quest. It'southward a quest for fun. I'g gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. Nosotros're all gonna have and so much f--kin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our god-damn smiles. Yous'll be whistling 'Naught-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! Ha, ha, ha, ha! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Oh, due south--t!"
National Lampoon's Holiday (1983)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Really. I have an interesting instance, treating 2 sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people."
Zelig (1983)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Agonizing the peace."
- "Disturbin' the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the f--kin' accuse for getting pushed out of a moving automobile, huh? Jaywalking? This is bulls--t."
Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Nosotros've been goin' most this all wrong. This Mr. Stay-Puffs' okay! He's a sailor, he'south in New York. Nosotros get this guy laid, we won't accept whatever trouble!"
Ghostbusters (1984)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Wease. Nosotros got seventy dollars, and nosotros got a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens, okay? This is a keen social opportunity for the states. Come on."
16 Candles (1984)
Play clip (extract):

- "Why don't you lot just make x louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?"
- "These go to eleven."
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Play clip (excerpt): (curt) (long)

"Howdy? Hello? Everyone habitation? Hey! Recall, McFly. Call up!"
Back to the Hereafter (1985)
Play prune (excerpt):

"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks y'all'd take a diamond."
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Play prune (extract):

"Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Crusade if it leaks to the Five.C., he could stop up an G.I.A., and then we'd all be put on K.P."
Adept Morning, Vietnam (1987)
Play prune (excerpt):

- "Let's do what one shepherd said to the other shepherd."
- "What?"
- "Allow's get the flock outta hither."
Lethal Weapon (1987)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I'thousand a mog - half man, one-half domestic dog. I'm my own best friend."
Spaceballs (1987)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Don't call me stupid."
- "Oh, right! To call you lot stupid would exist an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. Only you lot think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?"
- "Apes don't read philosophy."
- "Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not 'Every man for himself.' And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked 'em up."
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
Play clips (excerpts):

"Jane, since I've met you, I've noticed things that I never knew were at that place before... birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights."
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Team! (1988)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Prissy beaver."
- "Give thanks you. I but had information technology stuffed."
- "Let me help you with that."
The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
They Live (1988)
Play clip (excerpt):

"The terminal time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Freedom."
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
Play clip (extract):

- "Miss Truvy, I'm beyond assistance. Last calendar week, I discovered the early stages of crow's feet."
- "Honey, fourth dimension marches on and eventually you realize information technology's marchin' across your face up."
- "Stop it."
Steel Magnolias (1989)
Play clip (extract):

"I'll have what she's having."
When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
Play clips (excerpts): (extended)

"Jazz! What'd I say? Come up on. Chicks. Some people play hard to get. I play difficult to want. I'd always loved Jazz, 'cuz she despised me for who I truly am. It's like that time we were at her parents' wedding anniversary and I told that joke: 'What'southward the definition of vagina?' 'The box a penis comes in.' Uhh! I was stuck with a case where Zuzu Petals and Art Mooney were battling out for the 'Lamest Inkling of My Career' award."
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Play clip (excerpt):

"See, women need a reason for having sex, men but need a place."
City Slickers (1991)
Play prune (excerpt):

"I crap bigger than you."
City Slickers (1991)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "I couldn't believe it was her. Information technology was like a dream. Just in that location she was, just every bit I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say: 'Hey! Look at these!' She was the kind of woman that made you want to drop to your knees, and give thanks God you lot were a homo! Yeah! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt nearly it."
- "Frank, snap outta it! You lot're lookin' at her like she was your mother, for Christ's sake."
The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fright (1991)
Play clip (extract):

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."
What Nearly Bob? (1991)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Are you crying? At that place's no crying! There's no crying in baseball game!"
A League of Their Own (1992)
Play clips (excerpt): (curt) (long)

"That'southward what I honey nearly these loftier school girls, man. I get older, they stay the aforementioned historic period...Yes, they practise."
Mazed and Dislocated (1993)
Play prune (excerpt):

"Ned, I would love to stand up here and talk with you - only I'm not going to."
Groundhog 24-hour interval (1993)
Play clip (excerpt):

"If I'g non back in five minutes, simply expect longer."
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Do non go in in that location. Whoa!"
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Await, but you said you simply had sexual activity with iii different guys. You never mentioned him!"
- "Because I never had sex with him."
- "Yous sucked his dick!"
- "We went out a few times. We never had sex but nosotros fooled around."
- "Oh my God! Why did you lot tell me you but had sex with three unlike guys?"
- "Because I did only take sex with three dissimilar guys. That doesn't mean I didn't simply go with people."
- "Oh my God, I feel so nauseous!"
- "I'thou sorry, Dante. I idea you lot understood!"
- "I did understand! I understood that you lot had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!"
- "Please calm downward."
- "How many?"
- "Dante..."
- "How many dicks have yous sucked?"
- "Permit it go!"
- "How many?"
- "All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you lot! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you f--ked!"
- "This is different, this is of import. How many? - Well?"
- "Something similar...36."
- "What? Something like 36?"
- "Lower your voice."
- "Look a infinitesimal, what is that anyway? Something like 36? Does that include me?"
- "Uh, 37."
- "I'm 37!"
Clerks (1994)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Just when I think y'all couldn't possibly be any dumber, yous go and do somethin' similar this -- and totally redeem yourself! Ha Ha!"
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Play prune (extract):

"Yeah I called her up, she gave me a agglomeration of crap about me not listenin' to her plenty, or somethin'. I don't know, I wasn't really payin' attention."
Impaired & Dumber (1994)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Hey wait everybody! Billy peed his pants."
- "Of class I peed my pants, everybody my age pees their pants. Information technology's the coolest."
- "Actually?"
- "YES! You lot ain't cool, unless you pee your pants."
- "Wow! Hey, human. Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!"
- "If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."
Billy Madison (1995)
Play clip (excerpt):

"God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."
Hackers (1995)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Fat guy in a little glaze. Fat guy in a piffling coat..."
Tommy Male child (1995)
Play clip (excerpt):

(to Bob Barker) "The price is wrong, bitch."
Happy Gilmore (1996)
Play clip (excerpt):

(to his golf ball) "You footling son of a bowwow, ball! Why you don't you simply go Habitation? That's your HOME! Are you lot too practiced for your Domicile? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, Ball!"
Happy Gilmore (1996)
Play clip (extract):

- "I love the old Rose. The i with no brand-upward and baggy clothes who loves 'the perfect seize with teeth'. fifty beloved her. lt's real. lt's not based on passion, although 50 feel that, or, or lust, although l feel that. Or even concrete attraction because she wasn't uh, uh although l-I thought she was quite beautiful. Her optics, her mouth. The way she held herself, the way she made fun of herself. She eats carrots now. lsn't that tragic? What am l gonna do?"
- "Do you know that in the last two years, fifty've been with 11 different women. Most of them half my age. Not ane with a sense of humor fifty understood. Now, I don't engagement these girls considering they're well-read. I gave one a re-create of A Bye to Arms. She thought it was a nutrition volume."
The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996)
Play prune (extract):

"Mike. I'k tellin' ya, you're money. You're so f--kin' coin!"
Swingers (1996)
Play clip (extract):

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential... Very well, where practise I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a xv year-former French prostitute named Chloe with webbed anxiety. My father would womanize, he would beverage. He would brand outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general angst that merely the genius possess and the insane complaining. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the leap, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap handbag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There actually is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking - I suggest you try it."
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I think everything must get back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood. Y'all know, my mother never had time for me. Y'all know, when yous're the middle child in a family of v million, you don't get whatsoever attending. I mean, how is information technology possible?"
Antz (1998)
Play prune (extract):

"...Nobody calls me Lebowski. Yous got the wrong guy. I'thousand the Dude, man."
The Big Lebowski (1998)
Play clip (extract):

"I was married. My husband cheated on me left and right. He made me feel like I was crazy all the time. Ane day he tells me it's my mistake he saw other women. So I picked up a pocketknife, and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him. Aye, I did a piddling jail time, but it was worth it."
Living Out Loud (1998)
Play clip (extract):

- "What's that bubble there?"
- "What do you remember?"
- "How'd you get the beans above the frank?"
- "I don't know, it wasn't like it was a well, thought-out plan."
In that location'southward Something About Mary (1998)
Play prune (excerpt):

"Hey, psycho - nosotros're not gonna discuss this, OK, it'due south over. Please go out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the ring and they break up."
The Wedding Singer (1998)
Play clip (extract):

"Oh, and this i time, at ring camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy..."
American Pie (1999)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately."
- "I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."
Role Infinite (1999)
Play clip (excerpt):

"And I-I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, considering I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk i more time, so, and so I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this twelvemonth, and I used to be over past the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry. Only then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because information technology didn't bind upward as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler. ....And, oh, no, it's not okay considering if they make me, if they, if they have my, my stapler then I'll, I'll take to, I'll set the building on fire."
Office Space (1999)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "I had no idea you lot could milk a cat."
- "Oh yeah, y'all tin can milk anything with nipples."
- "I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?"
Meet the Parents (2000)
Play clip (extract):

"How tin can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they tin can't even fit inside the building?...I don't want to hear your excuses. The center has to be at to the lowest degree three times bigger than this."
Zoolander (2001)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Of course, we're non gonna go round (naked) paradin' ourselves in a room full of men! This isn't... French republic, for God'southward sake! Lawrence will prepare the photograph, leave the room. Dressing gowns come off. And i of the states will click the shutter."
Calendar Girls (2003)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I just sharted...I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted."
Forth Came Polly (2004)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I'm in a glass instance of emotion!"
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Exercise you know who I am?...I don't know how to put this, but, I'm kind of a big deal...People know me."
Anchorman: The Fable of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "I'm kinda psychic. I have a 5th sense."
- "What practice you lot mean?"
- "Like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can e'er tell when it's gonna pelting."
- "Really? That's amazing."
- "Well, they can tell when it's raining."
Mean Girls (2004)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I see you lot're drinkin' ane%. Is that 'cause you recall you're fat? 'Crusade you lot're not. You could exist drinking whole if you lot wanted to."
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Ooh! Look at these ii hot chickens. Finkel wants some dinkle. Give it to me. Huh. Come on, Do it. Lay it on, correct hither. Exercise it. Practice it."
- "Maybe he means a buss. We're doin' little voices - undercover."
- "Come on, sweetie. Do it."
- "Okay, Okay."
- "Oh, that's a sweetness little pucker."
Starsky & Hutch (2004)
Play prune (excerpt):

"We're reckless, big-headed, stupid dicks. And the Pic Actors Social club are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get f--ked by dicks. But dicks as well f--g assholes - assholes that but want to due south--t on everything. Pussies may recollect they can bargain with assholes their way. Simply the but thing that can f--thou an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes, they f--k besides much, or f--chiliad when it isn't appropriate... And information technology takes a pussy to testify 'em that. Merely sometimes, pussies can exist and so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are but an inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy globe, but I do know that if you don't let u.s.a. f--k this asshole, nosotros're gonna have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit!"
Team America: World Police (2004)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh --- Kelly Clarkson!"
The 40 Twelvemonth Old Virgin (2005)
Play clip (extract):

"Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to phone call 'dating.' I don't similar the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering: practice I take food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking plenty, am I interested, I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested only I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's non interested? And so all of the sudden I'one thousand getting, I'm starting to go interested…And when am I supposed to buss her? Do I take to wait for the door 'cause then information technology'due south awkward, it's like well goodnight. Practise you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your donkey sticks out 'cause you're tryin' not to become too close or practice y'all only go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't osculation them at all? Information technology's very hard trying to read the state of affairs. And all the while y'all're but really wondering are we gonna go hopped upwards enough to brand some bad decisions? Peradventure play a piffling game chosen 'just the tip.' But for a second, but to run across how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch, you lot're on my pilus."
Hymeneals Crashers (2005)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "Kevin Franks had already stopped breathing past the fourth dimension you drove off the road."
- "Kevin was definitely breathing when we went off the road."
- "How do you know?"
- "He was making me cum."
- "What? You lot were having sexual activity at 100 miles an hour?"
- "Hundred and x. I must've hit a pothole."
- "Yous don't seem as well upset past what's happened."
- "Of form I am. I'm traumatized. Who knows if I'll always cum once again."
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
Play prune (excerpt):

"Ah, don't accept it so hard. Even Oedipus didn't see his mother comin'."
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
Play prune (extract):

"Look, there is a woman in a auto. Can we follow her? And maybe brand the sexy-time with her?!"
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
Play prune (excerpt):

"Don't you observe information technology a little bit (of a) coincidence that the body fell perfectly within the chalk outline on the floor?"
- "I call up they drew the chalk outline afterwards."
- "Ah!"
The Pinkish Panther (2006)
Play clip (extract):

- "I would similar to take a closer look at your bowls."
- "My what?"
- "Your bowls. I would like to take a closer look - at your big brass bowls."
- "Okay, yeah." (unzips pants)
- "Thank you. Han Dynasty. Very rare. Beautiful."
The Pink Panther (2006)
Play clip (excerpt):

"When God created woman,
He gave her not two breasts but 3.
When the middle i got in the manner,
God performed surgery.
Woman stood before God,
With the middle breast in paw.
Said, 'What exercise we do with the useless boob?'
And God created man."
A Prairie Home Companion (2006)
Play clip (excerpt):

"Well, Dick, here's the deal. I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I hateful, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. And nobody tin handle my stuff. Uh, y'all know, I'1000 just a, only a big hairy American winnin' machine. If yous own't showtime, y'all're concluding. Y'all know, you know what I'thou talkin' almost? That phrase is trademarked not to exist used without permission of Ricky Bobby, Inc."
Talladega Nights: The Carol of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Play prune (excerpt):

"Matrimony is similar an unfunny tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, simply information technology doesn't concluding 22 minutes. It lasts forever."
Knocked Up (2007)
Play clip (extract):

- "Where exercise babies come from?"
- "Where do you think they come up from?"
- "Well, I call back a stork he drops it downwardly, and so a pigsty goes in your torso, and there's blood everywhere, coming out of your head, and then you button your belly push, and and then your butt falls off, and and so you hold your butt and you have to dig, and you notice a little babe."
- "That'south exactly right."
Knocked Up (2007)
Play clip (excerpt):

- "She had the biggest tits I've ever seen, I think."
- "Aye, I heard she got breast reduction surgery."
- "What? Makin' her tits smaller? That's like slapping God across the confront for giving you a gorgeous souvenir."
Superbad (2007)
Play prune (excerpt):

- "All right. What can I go you guys?"
- "Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just go the 1 mahi because I'one thousand not that hungry?"
- "I'll ask."
The Business firm Bunny (2008)
Play clip (excerpt):

"The eyes are the nipples of the face."
The House Bunny (2008)
Play prune (extract):

- "Everybody knows you never go full retard."
- "What practise y'all mean?"
- "Check information technology out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Pelting Man', look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, certain. Not retarded. Yous know, Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump'. Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. Only he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. And he was a god-damn state of war hero! You know whatsoever retarded state of war heroes? You went full retard, man. Never go total retard. Yous don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, 'I Am Sam,' Recall? Went full retard. Went home empty handed."
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Play clip (excerpt):

"...First, accept a big step dorsum - and literally f--k your own face!"
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Play clip (extract):

"Information technology'south where I go along all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus, it's not a human being-handbag. It'southward chosen a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one."
The Hangover (2009)
Play clip (excerpt):

"I'thou glad he's unmarried, because I'grand gonna climb that like a tree."
Bridesmaids (2011)
Play prune (excerpt):

"I love you lot girls. Y'know, somewhere out in that location are 4 terrible fathers I wish I could thank for this great night!"
Ted (2012)
Play clip (extract):

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Source: https://www.filmsite.org/funniestquotes.html

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